As delivered by his son Darrell at the Mass of the Resurrection for Donald Michael Ludlow
May 29, 2008 – St. Francis of Assisi Church, Raleigh, NC
Thank you to everyone who has joined us today. To the family who have traveled from afar, to the friends in the church and the community who have shown so much support for my Mom with hugs, and phone calls and have expressed their love for her and for the memory of my Dad.
“Don” passed in his sleep, at home, with his wife “Frannie” at his side – just the way he would have wanted to spend his last moments. – with the woman he loved for 42 yrs. She came back from a trip on Thursday — and he waited for her. Dad would often tell Drew and I how lonely he was and how much he missed Mom when she was away. Sometimes, he was like a little lost puppy dog who couldn’t wait to see her. He said he couldn’t imagine living life without her.
When you lose something, it is natural to feel sadness over the emptiness, and pain over not being able to grasp what you no longer have – maybe what you did not fully appreciate when you had it – what you can no longer feel and touch in the here and now.
We are feeling that right now over Dad’s passing. So sudden. So many things we meant to do with him, again – maybe it was another game of chess or going to the driving range. Drew had planned on getting Dad’s help in reformatting his computer drive this weekend. Mom was scheduled to get new pictures taken for the Parrish directory. His buddy John was looking forward to working on that tomato garden again.
Drew and I have been going through his library and his computer room, seeing all the books he collected, the notes he took. He went to class after class in order to learn something new. We realized that sure, he did it as a personal challenge to gain as much knowledge as possible. But he also did it so that he could somehow help someone else with that information – with their computer, their program, their website business.
And so as those who knew him deal with the pain of what we do not have any more, we may start to grasp the idea of just how much he gave to us and left with us. An example – to build upon – to better yourself so you can help others and to give of your time generously,
As a father, he gave his two sons a fine example of how to be a man. To accept responsibility, to be honest with yourself, to cheat no one, to lead often by example when words can not do justice or come so easily, To show love with a hug and kiss, and to say it out loud, which he did. To treat a wife with respect and love and as a partner in life and family. The fruits of that example can already be seen in how my brother cherishes his own wife and is bringing up his son Cayden.
We will miss Donald – as a husband, a father, a grandfather, a brother, an uncle, and a friend. But we will feel blessed that he left us with so much that we will have forever.